WCT #101: 6 Key Fixes To Stop Fumbling Your Networking Meetings
Three Minute Read
If you're not yet subscribed, click here or the subscribe button below and get concrete, actionable tips and insights every month to help you land great jobs and level up your career game.
You already know that cold applications alone are a weak strategy. Hiring managers and recruiters are inundated. You know you have to network. What most people don't know is what to say during that networking meeting, how to manage it, and how to turn it into something useful for their job search. As an experienced career coach who has witnessed hundreds of these meetings succeed and fail, I’ve observed the same mistakes being made repeatedly. This post will teach you exactly how to run networking meetings that build relationships and produce referrals.
Networking is not a transaction. A networking meeting isn’t a one-and-done event. It’s the continuation of or the beginning of a relationship. Something that must be nurtured over time. If you treat it as an item to check off your list only when you’re job hunting, you’re already setting yourself up for failure.
Below are the six core practices I teach clients that turn casual coffee chats into high-yield connections.
1. Begin by breaking the ice and connecting on humanity.
You can’t launch into “here’s my pitch” right off the bat. You need to soften the interaction. Start with some warm-up small talk: ask about their neighborhood, hobbies, or a mutual acquaintance. Say, “I saw your post about your daughter’s college acceptance. Congratulations! How’s she settling in?” Use that as a bridge into something more substantive. This isn’t fluff. It’s relationship capital. People will resist a purely transactional conversation. When they feel seen and known, they’re more open to listening to you later. So invest the first few minutes in real human connection.
2. Check for time constraints early.
If you don’t know whether they have only 15 or 45 minutes, your meeting can end awkwardly. Early in the conversation, ask, “Do you have any time constraints today?” That gives you permission to steer the meeting. If they say, “I have 20,” you will know you only have time for essentials and referrals. If they have more time, you can dig deeper. This helps you avoid abrupt endings where you run out of time before asking for referrals. Being mindful of their schedule shows respect and professionalism.
3. Interweave your story without being salesy.
Your goal in the conversation is twofold: to convey your interests, strengths, and potential contributions; and to ask for referrals. But if you just deliver a pitch, you’ll come across as transactional. Instead, sprinkle your narrative into responses to their questions. “That’s a great question. When I worked in X, I saw that Y and Z problems were constant. I’m now focusing on roles where I can tackle those issues.” You’re showing, not telling, your value. This conversational weaving builds legitimacy. And when you ask, “Would you be comfortable introducing me to a couple of people in your network doing similar work?” it feels like a logical extension, not an intrusion.
4. Be a curious interviewer about their story and world.
Flip the script. Too many job seekers arrive ready to talk about themselves. The real art is to ask questions: “How did you decide to join your company? What’s the hardest part of your work? If you weren’t in that role, what would you do instead?” Think of yourself as a talk show host, genuinely interested. Let them share their journey and insights. You will discover commonalities, domain knowledge, and openings. This also gives you fodder to position yourself. The more someone feels heard, the more willing they’ll be to help you. Use curiosity to build trust and open doors.
5. Accept leads or roles gracefully. Don’t muddy the ask.
Sometimes, in the middle of the meeting, the person might float, “We have an opening in my team. Do you want to talk about that?” If that happens, pursue it fully. Ask about the role, the team, and the expectations. But don’t still push for external referrals in the same breath. You thin your ask. If their company doesn’t pan out, you can come back later and say, “Could you also introduce me to others you know in similar firms?” But don’t confuse or overload them with dual requests at once. Treat the internal possibility as a primary thread, and external referrals as backup. Clarity increases your chances of follow-through.
6. Always follow up with a thoughtful thank you and next steps.
Don’t fall into the “thank you for your time” trap. In your follow-up note, mention a specific point from your conversation. “I really appreciated your take on industry disruption in X. It opened my eyes to Y.” That signals you were engaged. If they offered to connect you with someone, mention that (“I’m excited to follow up with Eric at Company Z, as you suggested.”). Use this message to keep the momentum and follow up on open paths. This keeps doors open and makes you memorable. Memories of a meeting may fade. A follow-up email anchored in specificity sustains it.
The Bottom Line
You shouldn’t treat networking as an on-off switch tied to your job search. The only people who truly succeed at networking are those who consistently invest their time. Growing, sustaining, and refreshing relationships even when they're not hunting. Doing this primes your network so when you do need help, you’re not starting from zero.
If you adopt the mindset of conversation architect - building connection first, asking strategically, following up thoughtfully - your networking becomes a force multiplier. You can transform one meeting into many referrals, and that is how job searches accelerate. More connections, more conversations, more opportunities. The best part? You’ll start seeing this as part of a lifelong professional rhythm, not just a frantic scramble when you’re unemployed.
Make the shift now. In your next networking conversation, apply these six practices. Watch your confidence, clarity, and results elevate.
I help people land amazing jobs fast and manage their career journeys through coaching and advising. I also transform resumes and LinkedIn profiles to attract more interviews and offers. Learn more about my career coaching and contact me or request a free 15-minute Career Solutions Call.